English lesson

Zeke · Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:00 pm Post subject: English lesson

Check this out, if you think my phonetic puzzles are a pain you need to read this:
For example, in Year 1 that useless letter "c" would be dropped to be replased either by "k" or "s", and likewise "x" would no longer be part of the alphabet. The only kase in which "c" would be retained would be the "ch" formation, which will be dealt with later. Year 2 might reform "w" spelling, so that "which" and "one" would take the same konsonant, wile Year 3 might well abolish "y" replasing it with "i" and Iear 4 might fiks the "g
j" anomali wonse and for all.

Jenerally, then, the improvement would kontinue iear bai iear with Iear 5 doing awai with useless double konsonants, and Iears 6-12 or so modifaiing vowlz and the rimeining voist and unvoist konsonants. Bai Iear 15 or sou, it wud fainali bi posibl tu meik ius ov thi ridandant letez "c", "y" and "x" -- bai now jast a memori in the maindz ov ould doderez -- tu riplais "ch", "sh", and "th" rispektivli.

Fainali, xen, aafte sam 20 iers ov orxogrefkl riform, wi wud
hev a lojikl, kohirnt speling in ius xrewawt xe Ingliy-spiking werld

Mark Twain, "A Plan for the Improvement of English Spelling"
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Steve · Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:03 pm Post subject:

it's ok that i can read that perfectly, right?
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Zeke · Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:04 pm Post subject:

You yes. I expected as much. Wink

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Dave · Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:05 pm Post subject:

I was able to read and understand all of it.

My brain now hurts.

Joel. I f*cking hate you.
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Zeke · Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 8:27 pm Post subject:

Good bitch Razz

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trebuchet · Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 7:47 am Post subject:

Man, that was the funniest thing I've read today - hands down. Laughing

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Aranthos · Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 5:09 pm Post subject:

I read something similar some time ago about English being chosen as the 1st language of the European Union, beating out German, the only close competitor. However, in order to meet standards a few changes had to be made over the course of several years. After some 6 years or so of language changes, reading the resultant text sounded exactly like the sterotypical German accent.
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jynexia · Posted: Thu Jul 12, 2007 9:07 pm Post subject:

I read that article too. It was pretty interesting. But try to read the last sentence without reading all the gradual transitions. That is similar to Joel Speak.
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Zeke · Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2007 12:59 am Post subject:

That post is far BEYOND Joel speak on these forums, I can't even attempt that much phonetic foreplay.
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