Bobby Z - Straight to DVD

[Parsifal]

*Please note that any of the following information was gained from the promotional flash sub-site on the Sony Pictures online network and as such though plot points are given some of the joining info may be a little vague...which, quite frankly, can only serve to shield you from the true "genius" of this film.*

Wow. Okay, where do I start?...

Basic plot: A drug kingpin known as Bobby Z goes and has himself a heart attack. This proves fatal. Somehow a DEA agent (referred to as "scheming" by the film's mini-site) hatches a plot to take advantage of the (assumed) fact that no one else actually knows the drug lord died. Enter a ex-marine who has found himself in jail for what essentially equates to being both dumb and unlucky. This proves potentially fatal. Taking Standard "get out of jail" Contract #5 the DEA agent offers the ex-Marine the chance to escape his sentence in exchange for going undercover as the (secretly) deceased Bobby Z, getting his money, women, and *gaps* enemies in the process. Because, you know, he somehow happens to look like the recently departed. How exactly this benefits the DEA, the government, or the agent isn't exactly touched upon in what I saw. Therefore it is not important and you shouldn't ask too many questions. At some point though this involved re-ingratiating himself to an ex-girlfriend of the titular (tee-hee) corpse, who at one point confesses (the girlfriend, not the corpse) that she's figured out that the stand-in isn't who he says he is but didn't bust him because "you stood up for Kit" (her son, who according to formula may turn out to have been Bobby Z'es'ez'zzz) and is better in bed.

What follows is a lot of fights, a lot of shooting, a few double-crosses, and a whole lot of bad acting. This could prove fatal to the cast's careers.

Who stars in this marvel of modern cinema you ask? A quality cast headlined by the following: Paul "Too Furious" Walker as the ex-Marine, Laurence "Furious Styles" Fishburne as the "scheming" DEA agent, Olivia "Furious and" Wilde as the no doubt plot crucial ex-girlfriend, and UFC Light Weight champ Chuck "Furious Beating" Liddell as some dude in jail who probably provides several minutes of action within prison walls (think more "American Me"'s "Open your eyes Ese!"*stab* *stab* *stab*, than said movie's David Boreaniz gang-rape scene's *stab* *schlunk* *stab*) and could possibly come back later in the movie and expose Walker as /not/ being Bobby Z.

How did I stumble upon this gem you may ask? Completely by accident as a corner ad on iFilm, thats how. In fact that is the only ad I have seen for this (straight to) video extravaganza. This is, of course, a sure sign that the studio that created it is 100% behind it and willing to commit whatever resources it can to promote it, based on their belief in the high quality of the product.

I understand that "they all can't be winners". I also understand that a movie's promotional materials can often be misleading in that a studio will present you with the best parts of a film in order to give the impression that the entire thing would be "that good". I think I can honestly say that is not the case with "Bobby Z" and that the clips on the mini-site will give you a fairly accurate impression as to the overall quality and originality of this particular effort. For anyone who wishes to undergo an advance taste of the "Bobby Z Experience" I present you with a link it's mini-site. This may prove fatal to your brain cells.

Did I mention Laurence Fishburne in a cowboy hat?
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